Dear Summer

As I sit back and reflect over the summer I realize that my summer has been mediocre {at best} event wise. I haven't done anything that would correlate to a great summer. No vacations, no amusement parks, no beaches or parties. It kinda sucks because I would have loved to do all those things but situations just wouldn't allow it.

I will say though that this summer has been one filled with a bunch of epiphanies and learning tools. I was just thinking this weekend that 24 was the 'Year of the Growing Pains' and 25 is the 'Year of the Student'. I have seen so many things both good and bad that have helped me to grow into a better person and I am definitely grateful for it. From God, to relationships, to my art, to my ultimate professional goals... I can say on an inner peace standpoint my summer has been freakin acid! {weird right?} I guess I needed to be in silence and solitude and just pure stagnation event wise in order to actually see and find what God wanted me to. He has been basically revealing many things to me and putting things into perspective for me. I've dealt with a great loss in my love life and also some losses professionally but I learned alot since May.

With my love life I learned that sometimes you can't press or force love. You can't force shit to work... it just works. You can't obsess over the "why's" or "why nots" some shit just has to be. Have you ever hugged someone and it felt like your soul was breaking in half and flickering. I've had that feeling recently dealing with my ex. I miss my ex so fuckin much. But we just weren't at the place to be together. I think we both need[ed] to grow the fuck up and look at shit from a level of insight that we never had before. Like to actually lose something so priceless yet so tainted. Just a weird feeling. Like I think we had to go through all the shit we went through together to actually see that we are indeed soul mates. [I do believe Soul Mates come in many forms so you can have more than one] Just torn between trying to be too perfect and not accepting being human. I realize it is something only {WE} will understand and I am fine with that. To lose someone who is you in another body is soul shattering. But... it teaches you how to love and how not. So it's beautiful.

Professionally I just realized I gotta do my own thing. I am destined to own businesses. It is just my destiny. It is what God has been showing me. As an artist and designer I just realize that I can't design under someone else. I am on a whole different plane with designing. And yes there are many great designers out there but none like me. I'm too out the box for these rinky dink print shops that won't last more than 5 years. So I am taking heed to some advice I got from my father. [go fuckin figure, I NEVER heard any good advice from my dad so the shit is a shock to my system.] I am launching my own design firm... I am in the works of building the website and getting the legality of it together. {Stay tuned for details} But it is an amazing feeling. Just to take all the knowledge I've gained from school and piss poor management in my jobs. I learned from good examples through my professors, internships, and freelancing and learned from bad examples from these mom and pop shops that aren't worth a dime. I've learned what to do and what not to do. I've watched, taken notes, explored trial and error, established a rapport with vendors and clients and I am ready to revolutionize graphic design. point blank period.

As far as my passion... POETRY. I am so immersed in this art. The show I participated in on July 30 was so awesome! Like just to be on stage with people who share this conviction and love for this craft was amazing. It was new life. I see my purpose being revealed daily. And when I open my poetry club we as poets will be legends. We will save lives one piece at a time. Dream[z] will be realized {details later lol} But BIG things are happening. God is moving and he has been walking with me. Teaching me and molding me to fulfill the purpose he has for my life. For any of you who come in contact with this blog. Please support my work 'Narratives of a Love-A-Holic' www.amazon.com and also the work of other poets. We live and breathe this. If you can buy a CD why not buy a book too. You won't regret it.

Well that is my rant for now....

Peace & Love,

T