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Feelings

So often we are led to believe that our feelings or truths are wrong. How can one judge another's emotions. Are you walking the same path as I? Are you treading the waves that crash my boat? Am I fit to even tie the strings of shoes YOU walk in? Am I righteous enough to tell you what your thoughts should be? [We are entitled to our feelings. It is the act of NOT feeling that is absurd.]

Valentine's Day - From 'Narratives Of A Love-A-Holic'

I wrote this poem about 2 years ago. This book is featured in my book 'Narratives Of A Love-A-Holic'. With Valentine's Day coming up I felt it only necessary to share this poem. To all who have year round Valentine's I Salute you. Also... think about this... Since "Love" is in the air. Take time to examine how you show love everyday and also think about God's love. That's the greatest love of all. In fact, he loved us so much he sent his only son to die for our sins. [Just a thought] Enjoy!


Valentine's Day

Flowers. Candy. Roses.
Typical behavior on February 14th.
Pretending. Fronting. Posing.
What does it all really mean?
I guess it is meant to be this way.
Mediocrity at its finest.
Women insist that he provide those things.
By this people are blinded.
Lack of emotion tolerated all year...
Fake puppy names and artificial vows of love.
Baby. Sweetheart. Lover. Dear.
Are these gestures any less meaningful on the day before?
Or even the day after?
February 13th or 15th...
Why should dates even matter?
Society deems this as the "Day of Love"
Paint the town "Red" and Why?
Every day is an opportunity to go the extra mile...
A chance to touch the sky.
Romantic poetry in motion...
Actions that go above and beyond.
Picnics at the park, walks by the pond.
Each moment should be cherished.
Don't let it slip away.
Every single breath with that special someone
Should be Valentine's Day.

Why count on February 14th?
Tomorrow isn't guaranteed...
Love should never have to wait.
Try opening up her door; try taking him on a special date.
Kiss often and lovingly...
Send roses to the workplace.
Write an old-fashioned love letter...
Put a smile on her face.
Don't let the world tell you that the day of love has to be when "they" see fit.
Celebrate with great passion; make a whole lifetime of it.
Don't fall by the wayside & let your relationship be rated as an average 7.
Make it a point to be a 10 at all times and if the mood strikes push for 11.
Love is the ultimate gift.
Don't wait until holidays or "special occasions" to give
This treasure.
Show your love at all times, express emotion beyond measure.

Each moment should be cherished.
Don't let it slip away.
Every single breath with that special someone
Should be Valentine's Day.

© Tisean M. Bell Author of 'Narratives Of A Love-A-Holic' & 'ASC'

Nixon Watch - DOPE

Love the colorway on this.

In The Meantime [More Key Points]

Here are a few key things that I've read today from 'In The Meantime'. I'm not sure how they will help someone else but I know they have opened up more consciousness for me in my own life:

Love conquers all right? Wrong! Love cannot work through dishonesty, denial, fear, or people pleasing. It is physically impossible for two things to occupy the same space at the same time. Where there is fear, love cannot abide. When there is overt dishonesty, out-and-out lying, hiding, and denial, love cannot be.

... Nothing is more common in the meantime than expecting or demanding that a person do what we already know they will not or are incapable of doing.

...Asking someone to do what we know they are unable to do,, or demanding that they do what we want them to do, knowing that they are afraid and/or confused is a very unloving and unkind thing to do to ourselves and to other people. You must listen to what people do, not what they say. People always demonstrate their intentions, their expectations, through their actions. They may swear to high heaven that they will do this or that, but DO remains the operative word.

Often in relationships things don't work out because the people we are attracted to are taking another path to the summit. Each of us, from our own position, tries to convince the other to walk the path we have chosen.

...You must walk the path that is true for you. The path you walk doesn't have to be the TRUTH, it only has to be true for you.

You may love a person dearly but you must also accept that they not walk the path with you. They have chosen another way, another lesson, one which may not be complementary to yours. Which raises the second issue: Learn to face the truth.

If you do not love yourself enough to live in your own integrity, if you do not have a solid sense of self-value and self-worth, loving other people is going to be difficult.

One aspect of unconditional love is being able to give of yourself without expectation of return or reward.

Letting go which is a form of housecleaning, does not mean you stop loving. It means that you make a conscious choice about how to love, which can include loving someone from a distance.

Why don't we have the courage to say what it is we expect, want, or need?

When we refuse to accept that people can walk a path different from ours, or when we attempt to drag them onto ours, we dishonor them, as well as ourselves.

Serenity Prayer

A prayer I needed to say tonight. My mantra in life.

God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.

Reinhold Neibuhr

Thoughts At Night

I lay in bed looking at the ceiling. Lonely... even in the midst of company and friends. I lay and take a gaze out the window and look at the stars. Wondering what you are doing, how you are feeling, how you are doing, and if you are thinking about me. Maybe all thoughts I shouldn't think but real thoughts nonetheless. They say if you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. At the end of the day faith and acceptance are 2 main components for peace when you experience a break-up. Faith that the current situation is best and acceptance that you just may NOT be the one. I mean no one wants to be a hinderance to someone they love right? When you truly love someone you have to be willing to let them go so they can find true happiness even if it isn't with you and know that if it is meant to be it will be. Often times we try to fight to hold onto someone not realizing all that fighting is pushing them farther away. I had to learn this. At the end of the day no matter what you do or say, if someone wants to leave then they will. If they want to stay, they will. It's a matter of choices. It is also said in God's word (Revelation 3:7) ... What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know that whatever God is doing it is his will to do. Time apart or just complete closure is necessary. I'm not sure what will be. Whether we will cross paths again or part ways forever. I do know that right now a day let alone forever seems way too long.

I'm learning to be honest with myself. I've learned that I made plenty of mistakes and acted and reacted in certain ways for many different reasons. They definitely weren't the best but I am happy that I finally have gained the courage to see myself in the mirror with intense clarity. Even if it means that parts of me are ugly.

When I think of you... I get sad. Thinking of memories once shared. The good times and even the not so good. Wondering why it could never work. Wondering why we just messed it all up. Yes WE. Today I saw a commercial for the 'Alice in Wonderland' preview and asked someone if they wanted to see that. They said no. Immediately I thought that 'Alice in Wonderland' is a movie I KNOW you would want to see. Simply, because that's your thing. I realized that some things will only be fit for us and I can never get those times from someone else nor would I want to. Everyone has their place and time. I wonder if your place and time in my life really has ended. Or if this time away is really just a step in the healing process which will lead us back to at least being TRUE friends.

::Sigh:: I honestly don't know what the future holds. But I know through the process I am airing out laundry and figuring out exactly where I am in Love's House. 'In The Meantime' has been helping me a lot. I guess in the meantime of this break-up, lessons need to be learned and getting to know my true self is on the horizon.

I miss you. No doubt about that... These are my thoughts at night.

-Heartbreak Kid

Acts of Faith - February 5th

Today's Acts Of Faith really hit home for me today. It is so funny how God works. I was conversing with a friend about my doubts and insecurities about my poetry. I've been struggling with feeling like I had to meet the level of other writers. My friend gave me the pep talk and reminded me of just how great I am and how I can't base my gifts on someone else because I am me. Shortly after having that conversation I read this in my Acts Of Faith:

Nothing can dim the light which shines from within. - Maya Angelou

Each one of us brings to the world unique talents, gifts and abilities. Even if you don't know what it is or value what you do, someone somewhere, will benefit from your presence. No one can do what you do exactly the way you do it. It is this uniqueness that makes you valuable to the world. We are each as unique and valuable as the other. It was designed that way. A gift from God. Gifts are not given on the basis of race and gender. As a matter of truth, gifts come in many shapes, sizes, and colors, When you do what you do, exactly the way you do it, you are sharing God's gifts, bestowed for the good of the world.

I have something valuable to give to the world.

THIS RIGHT HERE! was definitely the additional affirmation I needed that I am doing the right thing. At times I get doubtful and wonder if this is what God wants me to do. Last night I was surrounded by so many blessed and talented people. Individuals whom I highly respect and regard as the new aged griots of our time. I am both humbled and honored to even be in the presence of these people and on the same platform as them. I take these things I've read and heard and will continue to press on to touch people with my words.

My Funny Valentine/Thoughts

So Valentines Day aka "Singles Awareness Day" aka "Cliche Day" aka "Mediocrity At It's Finest Day" is coming up. I see a lot of people talking about it. Either totally looking forward to it or on some "FUCK LOVE" type thing. [LOL] I however, find my self strategically placed on the fence. Simply because I do believe that Valentine's Day is a commercialized holiday in a sense that people go all out for this ONE day when these gestures could be done JUST BECAUSE IT IS THURSDAY [Checks Calendar... yeah today is Thursday lol] Anyway... I just believe that the possibilities of romance are so endless that it saddens me to see people confine their "love", like, adoration, etc etc. for this day. Would those gestures mean anything less if they were done on another day?

Take this FICTITIOUS scenario for instance:

Jamal is dating three women/Jackie is dating three men...
[1. Jump Joint 2. Side Joint 3. Main Joint]
Since Valentine's Day is on a Sunday this year this is how these two will handle their 3 "joints"[LOL]

Friday February 12th will be reserved for the "Jump Joint". They will go pick food up from the carry out and watch movies indoors. Jamal/Jackie give the jump a poorly selected Vday card from the dollar store and a Twix. The jump will ask why are they chllin Friday instead of Sunday. Jamal/Jackie will say they have to work tomorrow and Sunday they are going to church with Family. [Mission Accomplished] And on they go with the night.

Saturday February 13th will be reserved for the "Side Joint" They will go out to dinner and a movie. [You know the typical cliche date coupled with Roses from the Bodega, dollar store candy/teddybear.] They will have drinks, laugh, have fun etc... and then "Side Joint" will ask... "Why couldn't we have done this tomorrow" Jamal/Jackie will say it was best they went out Saturday because everything stays open later as opposed to Sunday where they will have to rush through said "date" and then prepare for work right after. [Mission Accomplished! ON THE THE MAIN ONE lol]

Sunday February 14th will be reserved for the "Main Joint" Since Friday Main, has been getting edible arrangements/flowers sent to work, and/or love notes and e-mails, coupled with Godiva chocolate strawberries mysteriously left on his/her desk at work. lol... And thennnnn *drumroll* Sunday afternoon they go to a 4 or 5 star hotel for a surprise of aromatherapy massages and rose petals everywhere and romantic candlelight dinner later on that night. [And if they can sing, possibly a heart warming serenade at the table... hell, even if they can't sing they are going ALL IN lol] And to end the night they make passionate love and cuddle after... in that Plush King Size White Linen bed... all the while "Jump" and "Side" been callin and textin ALL day lol...

So the moral of the story is this folks. Valentine's Day is just ONE day. We have 364 days out of the whole year to celebrate love. Be it friendship, family, romantic, etc. Don't let society tell you that showing love is only once a year. You can be in a mediocre relationship but as long as you get somethin on V-Day, you are good! C'mon Son! Use your better judgement. Romance is a resource we can dip into and draw from daily. TisAll...


Here are some song lyrics to further prove my point.


My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet youre my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But dont change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentines day

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But dont you change one hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentines day

Lyrics by Rodgers/Hart

I also will be posting a poem entitled 'Valentine's Day' from my book 'Narratives Of A Love-A-Holic' next week.

PS - To the one I really wanna be with on Valentine's Day... Sigh... I wish things would've been different.

Some Of My Favorite Designs

I did this design a while back for a mixtape. I randomly was going through my designs and came across these two. I love these so much they will be going on the portfolio section of my company website. [creativestardezign.com Coming to you soon!]

Note: I did this for free... imagine what I do when I get paid lol.