Have you ever felt so alone that even praying doesn't help ease the stress? That is how I feel right now. I feel like my so called friends aren't there for me when I need them. And sometimes it hurts because when I reach out and ask for help all I get are excuses or just plain old vibes of being ignored. It doesn't feel good. I can say the last 3 years have been so rocky. The last 2 months I have felt like I am in life's purgatory. I have about 4 more weeks of school in New Jersey yet I had to move all of my belongings back to maryland. imaging commuting to class from a whole different state. It is very difficult but through it all I am still trying to hold on. I am trying to keep the faith because I have big dreams. I know things could always be a lot worse and that is what helps me stay at least somewhat sane. I just need some sunshine in a bag. Just a few little rays to help ease the pain and erase the storm clouds invading my space. It's like I look up and just see rain.
On top of that how do you cope with wanting a true relationship yet the person you want is a Big Star. People may say I am being unrealistic but I feel like the best stars are those who don't seem larger than life and don't seem unattainable. I just laugh. I think people like to keep you down simply because they are unhappy. Well one monkey don't stop no show... nor do a whole group of hatin ass porch monkeys. LOL. One day soon... my name will be known. I am going to change the world one poem at a time. Believe that! I am going to open one of the hottest poetry cafe's in the US. I want all spoken word artists, poets, musicians, singers, wordsmiths, rappers, whatever you call yourselves! to have a place where you become legends among legends. It is gonna be HUGE. I am currently developing the business plan. This spot is going to be ACID SUGAR CANE = ( A mixture of dopeness with with Raw Talent, Drive, Proliferation and Beauty!... I came up with this term to describe things I feel are dope) Just wait. I have so many dreams... I just wanna live them. I pray that they will be fulfilled including me marrying the man of my dreams and universe coupled with infinite means to travel and make my spot a success! Life is gonna get BIG. I know it. I just have to keep my faith. That mustard seed faith my mom always speaks about.
I just have to get over these hurdles and look at all these issues as SMALL things to a GIANT.
Well that's the end of my randomness....
PEACE
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